found: crazy homeless guy quoting Quagmire lines to every chick he sees. i think i win the scavenger hunt.
ugh. my soul tastes like vodka
This dude was wearing a "Plan B- One Step" backpack. I wonder how many more I have to buy until I get mine??
I want to take my head off and cuddle with it
Maybe it will forgive me and stop being an asshole
We're like Siamese twins, but joined at the genitals.
I was going to say I needed the exercise but now all I can think about is BJs
My work here is done
All I remember is folk music and a lot of drugs. I am never going "on an adventure" with you again
I'm going to assume that "the army of generous folk dancers" is no longer a goal you are willing to fulfill
Some guy just ordered at Cosmo and 2 screwdrivers in the sky club at 8:30 am. I'm starting to feel a lot better about my alcoholism
I was looking up travel destinations and somehow I ended up reading Paul's first letter to the Corinthians. I need to start going to church high...
I'm not sure New Orleans is real. Even the grocery stores sell vodka.
That's a good 5 hours of "I have no fucking idea what I did".
Some girl woke me up at 1:30 am looking for weed and the next thing I know I'm in a hot tub with 3 girls, 2 40's, and a blunt.
My TA is here with a sombrero and an entire bottle of Svedka. Skip jury duty.
The perfect man would keep a whisky sour in my hand and give me endless sex. I really don't think that's too much to ask for.
I'm sorry I called your mother a reasonably-priced receptacle.
Randomize
