I'm picking out a half way decent top so if I get arrested I'll have a respectable mug shot photo. Always be prepared.
Well after last night it's official...I cannot die...it time to use this power for good instead of handle contests
I don't think my prof knows we've noticed her No Bra Fridays.
he asked if i wanted their team name to be " Amandas angels" or " Fuk budies" either way an intermural softball team of all my hook ups from spring semester is just depressing. convenient but depressing
Hey girl, do you remember you made me brush your hair with a plastic fork on Saturday night?
well his attempt to make a white russian with instant coffee, gone off milk, and that weird probably illegal vodka we bought the other day isnt going well
I no longer believe that the road to self esteem is through his penis.
I walked out in my coconut bra, and that's when it all went downhill.
That's why god made go-pro's and tequila
The guy whose porn password I use finally renewed his membership. Lazy fucker had been slacking all summer.
While I'm here in reality dreaming of catching chili cheese fries with my mouth out of t shirt guns like Jesus is real
Do you know anyone else that comes home with unexplainable injuries as many nights a week as we do?
as I was leaving in the morning with his clothes on his roommate pops up and goes 'don't you dare steal that shirt, i gave it to him for his birthday'.
so, i take that as a legit invitation into his pants
I didn't have any choice but to cuddle you. Your hair was stuck on my nipple piercing.
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