We're 3 acts into this drag show and we've already run out of Lady Gaga songs.
Here's a fun fact your kittens ate my vomit last night
I think need to divide my DVD collection into "movies I've seen" and "movies I've only seen during sex"
We can't have sex anymore. The amount of money I've spent on meds and copays for UTIs is getting ridiculous
It's chlamydia! Thank God!
He picked me up for our 1st date and saw my roommate crying on the floor Fabreesing her vagina...
I'm in Burlington Coat Factory. This place'd be great if you were on E. There're so many textures...
I'm kinda hoping that if I rub the right object, a genie will come out
This juggling 3 dicks is getting exhausting
hurry up this bar wont let me order big pitchers of beer for just myself
I can't be here...my therapist just watched me take tequila shots
"Work from home" is code for "morning drinks" right?
woke up and you werent here...its ok if we're never going to speak again but my furry hand cuffs are missing and i would like them back. thanks.
ill let you put your finger in a lot of things. but a ring is not one of them.
She grabbed the other one and started playing tug-o-war against the blonde chick. I told you getting my nipples pierced was a good idea
Omg, new summer goal: sex in a bouncy castle.
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