I heard some girl say 'yeah he mustve been so drunk he kept mumbling and repeating himself'
And I thought
Fuck I do that shit every weekend
guess who came home with a hottie last night
Def drugged
It was like a mary poppins bag, except a sexual mary poppins bag.
I'm not going to blow you while you look at fish on the internet.
Just got a lecture from Dad about how I need to be more responsible and start buying my weed in larger quantities so that i can save money. Like he was serious and kind of disappointed in me for not adapting to his method earlier.
it took you forty minutes to realize it was a gay bar.
Down at Ground Zero right now. So many people here. It's the most patriotic game of grabass Ive ever seen.
its official. the only way for my hair to look good is to blow somebody
On a scale of one to america, how free are you this weekend?
I just found out I lost my virginity the same day my parents did, 25 years later. This is my life.
The Vegas crew is in two groups, Team Vodka and Team Fireball. There is no winner in this.
Remember when we saw my neighbor taking dick pics of himself? He's back at it!
I asked him to explain what he meant by "hooking up" in paragraph form
friends are allowed to bang on New Years, I read it on the Internet somewhere.
part of it says your brother mayyyy have put his lips on my vagina
Randomize
