did he really ask u insert a warm banna in ur anal?
Is there some kind of disinfectant spray people use? Why would anyone want to eat ass??
Well, I'm a guy so I don't have one, but if its anything like the inside of my nose, yes, vodka would burn.
I wish that one Sunday morning I could wake up feeling like I have my life together.
I just want to do a slip-and-slide into a giant pool of jello shots right now.
If the boyfriend of the drunk girl you just met asks her if she made a "special friend" you're going to have a threesome. For future reference.
I'm concerned I'll look like a hooker on new years eve in this outfit
There are different standards on new years eve. To look like a hooker you literally need to be giving a guy head on the street while he's handing you cash.
I just did the math. It is, in fact, cheaper to go out drinking every weekend than it would be for me to pay for a legitimate therapist. What are you doing next Friday night?
Did you fuck him in my garden last night?
That WOULD explain the dirt in my vagina
Question: should I be considering heels or is this the kind of night where I should plan on falling on my face regardless of my choice of footwear?
Man my junk looks like a mangled grapefruit right now, this shit sucks.
DUDE FUCK CALL ME SHE HAS GRANDKIDS
My mom just came upstairs handed me an Adderall and asked if I could help her wash the ceilings
Do you know why I slept in the yard last night?
You said you watched the lion king stoned and had to do it for simba.
Pride rock will get you every time.
I know it's New Year's Eve but if you're going to have a bunch of chicks playing strip go fish in our apartment I need a heads up.
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