Say "Steve Buscemi is hot." with a straight face.
I saw his dick soo much last night when I saw him this morning all I saw was penis where his face should be
I may have discovered that porn hub is on my top visited sites during class this morning.
Listen, Pinot Grigio got me pregnant. It can get you a boyfriend.
I want to make a porn site called "girls with daddy issues"
We had to put his head at the bottom of the driveway so the puke would run down. Now he's sleeping outside.
im already regretting the extreme lack of break up sex that took place
He just told me he's been drinking vodka at work all day. I'm starting to believe in soul mates.
So here i am dipping ice cream in my vodka and watching the bad girls club on demand. This is not ok
That's why I don't chug things. Because when I was a freshman in college tequila came out my nose.
No like you fell onto the fence. I don't even know how you got into the fenced in area.
We're sitting in the bathtub, eating pizza, doing shots of vvodka and comparing nipples. I havfe never been so comfortable in my life.
I taught a straight girl about grindr today. She showed me tinder. It was like some sexual cultural exchange program
Can I bother you for a second.
You always bother me but go on.
The smell of pee and coconut conditioner still makes me think of him
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