If i come over, it means nothing
That level of neurosis does not find love outside of Grey's Anatomy.
Shiiiit I think I'm getting sick. probably had something to do with the fact that i shared my mouth with everyone last night.
Wait. That came out far sluttier than I intended.
no memory loss, but i'm unhappy with my memories
My ex just called and told me that he is on his way to the hospital because he popped a vein in his dick. Should I go to the ER with him or class?
I blew him and did charles barkley impressions at the same time. what a pro
Last thing I remember was wondering why there was a mirror on the wall behind the urinal and then realizing I was pissing in the sink.
Double vision is so hot when a big dick is in sight. Thank you Bud Light.
People around me are just doing lines of cocaine. Like its no big deal. And I'm just here like.... Y'all want some cheezits?
Think of something healthy and responsible. Now think of the exact opposite, let's do the latter
we told the drug dealer that our car was dead and we needed a jump so he would bring the drugs to us...
How do you initiate sexting are u supposed to be like yo I'm peeing and eating a clif bar and texting and thinking about you naked all at the same time
he drank half a bottle of bushmills, stood up to pee over the side, pissed his pants, sat in the puddle on the deck, told me my life goals were stupid and impossible, and wouldn't leave until 5am. by the time I got up at 8 I had 4 texts and 2 fb messages from him. AND HE STILL THINKS IT WENT WELL
Dude, you screamed I AM THE WALRUS while giving a statue of Ronald McCdonald a lapdance. You were NOT sober.
Did u puke in a church parking lot? And go to the wrong funeral yesterday? Lol
Randomize
