I haven't had sex in so long I'll probably find some stranger, feel guilty, go w/o sex for several months and do it all over again...always something to look forward to
God dammit. Now I'm pissed at Arizona, while feeling bad for my poor, poor penis.
just saw bouncers outside a coffee shop. beginning to question humanity.
i just threw up in a potted plant at home depot
i forgot to tell you that olivia sent me a text yesterday that the mormon girl got caught with weed in her vagina at school
Nope. She just screamed at me "YOU WERE A FAILED ABORTION" and "I'LL PUT ANTHRAX IN YOUR PILLOW YOU LITTLE FUCK". Best mother award ever
There were grown college boys running around north campus in capes with nerf guns. If security were to be called I think they would just give them more beer.
Ah well. Drinking wouldn't be drinking without mystery bruises
Agreed.
TOPLESS DRIVE THRU! I have no money and my dignity is at an all time low.
You blew him?!?!
*Am blowing
And I keep taking breaks to write you back, please stop replying.
Woke up and took my pants off only to realize that I was wearing my shirt from last night as my underwear
so you 69ed him in the parking lot of your apartment
yah I won't allow him in my apartment
I need to stop acting like a porn star that isn't getting paid
I couldn't find my hair brush so I just brushed my hair with a cat brush. I should not be dating.
last night you made out with a 19 year old on a bar and i woke up with a swede in my bed. lets just say that never happened.
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