I think my emotional moodswings have reached a new low. I cried for the entire duration of changing my tampon.
Most of the time people just stick whatever they want in my mouth. Thanks for letting me decide this time
I JUST SHOOK HIS GRANDMOTHER'S HAND. WITH COCK HANDS. THIS IS NOT FUNNY.
is it pathetic that I think he's cheating and it doesn't bother me because for the first time I'm the girlfriend and not the other girl?
As she was leaving she said "You have an awesome penis, I hope to use it again soon" I need that on a business card to hand out at the bar
The cops showed up and one of them got pushed in the pool. When he got out he looked really sad so I got him a towel and hugged him. He arrested all the underage drunkards but me.
No, he went to go get condoms. The least I could do was chug two beers before he got back
Dude, did you really "knight me" and tell me I had permission to bang your sister last night?
After last night I think its official. Deep down, we like alcohol more than we like women.
As Scar once said. Be prepared! For the shit show of what's coming tonight
In other news I think my vagina is sunburnt
He kept saying I needed to go to the hospital and it just made me want to call him a pussy so I went to bed
He got in a fight. Then called me drunk to see if he should bail his friends out, or walk through a Taco Bell drive-thru. True love.
Not my fault people bought me shots. waving a shot in my face is like waving a cock in yours
I will feel awake by 6 pm
Are we not meeting until 6?
No I'm just saying thats usually when my body knows it's time to party
Randomize
