There's a 34yo winking at me. Why do i find this weird when my bf is a 38yo married man?
I got three cases. When they asked for id I said it was suspended for drunk driving.
And then I'm going to yell into her vagina and see if it echoes
i feel like my life is a cheap remake of American Pie
She spilled some tequila on her hair somehow and I guess I felt bad for her, so I yelled "ROOMIES FOR LIFE" and dipped my hair in my tequila.
And after we were done he said "Let's play a game! Who can find their clothes first"
Question. Was fucking Laura an entirely regrettable decision?
like...quickly.
BURNT NIPPLES ARE UNHAPPY NIPPLES.
Church parking lot, park bench, front porch. I think she's more comfortable going down on me in public. May have found the one.
we just talked about our morning and what we were doing for the day and he handed me the addies and i took $50 out of my bra in front of a bunch of frat guys. so the mornings going really well
I never thought I would have to put a band-aid on my penis.
When you're done railing that chick, there is still half a pizza and some ninja turtle mac and cheese down here if you want
Remember the girl I had sex with in the dorm stairwell? She got married!
You wouldn't put pants on to see my parents.
I just don't understand what you plan on accomplishing there except for losing all vestiges of post-freshman year dignity
Randomize
