New discovery: doing the Helen Keller is not as attractive as I thought it would be, in reference to the sex noises.
how are you not completely traumatized after 8 years of friendship with me?
I know it sounds like a good idea, but doing Spanish homework at a bar just because the owners are Mexican and they give us margaritas really wasn't the best decision.
I figured out why I insisted on leaving my sweater on the ground outside. I smelled it and I'm 97% sure I peed on it last night
who was wearing the fake mustache? I just found one in my cleavage
Fucken Tweens. They smelled like cotton candy and hand jobs my nostrils were offended.
I'm sorry that I didn't get belligerently drunk and did not put my penis on your neck again
When did we convert life to cartoon?
Exactly, there's no such thing as commitment at foam n' glow
I peppersprayed myself last night. Sigh.
I just got my evaluation. My manager told me he hated my guts and pretty much wanted to stab me in the face. Then he gave me an "exceeds expectations" on pretty much everything and a raise.
If someone told me one person in the department was secretly a death eater, I would suspect her, no contest.
The date went significantly better after the fifth shot of fireball.
We were walking to the bar with a group of people and literally made 4 stops in people's lawns garages or random walls for him to eat me out
what color bed sheets say meditative warrior but also welcome to my sex dungeon...
navy blue
The fact that you have an answer to that is why we are friends...
Randomize
