we were both hunting dick last night. it ended terribly for both of us.
I dated that bitch for 9 months and didnt get as much as a hand job. I met her sister last night for the first time and smashed that...twice
I respect that
If you're missing hair this morning, i'm sorry in advance
The more I look at him the more I wonder why anyone would ever want any of his features to be a part of their childs face.
so i turned around to do some reverse cowgirl when he said that this was such a better visual for him. Bad compliment or serious insult. i cant tell
He tried peeing out of the sunroof.
all I heard when I woke up this morning was "BONG HITS FOR BREAKFAST" being yelled repeatedly.
He kept coming back from the bar with hotter girls and just left with two...I feel like I just witnessed something amaZing. Like meeting Jesus and finding out he has no morals either
what's the appropriate greeting for someone whose bed you've had sex with someone else in?
There are 27 signatures on my ass. What the hell happened last night?
Every time someone made a cup you congratulated them by letting them sign your ass.
I think he is probably a psycho that will eventually murder me but i mean the sex last time was AWESOME.
Is it socially acceptable to stop at the strip club for the lunch buffet on my way to the airport?
You know how I know she's ugly? 97% of her profile pics are flowers or animals. And what do we know about pretty people and the Internet?
Just so were clear your wife is cut off from my dick.
wtf I can't believe that bar tender told on me to my mom
Randomize
