Have you finally orgasmed yet?
btw, but what hole was i in last night? wanna know if i have to worry
tried to be sexy and unbutton his shirt with my teeth. ended up slobbering all over it. thank god he was already passed out
That's cool how's he been?
He got hit in the face with a beer bottle so he has two black eyes and 13 stitches.. He hasnt changed much.
Said he had been eating pineapple for a week before our 1st date. Not sure if thankful for his consideration or offended by his assumption.
I had fun. Till he melissa etheridged my ass and came to my window.
So fucked up. Can't tell if I'm starving or about to puke. Playing it safe and eating froot loops. Tasty in, colorful out.
I come back home for break and my room is full of weed either my parents really love me or they are having more fun then I am in college
Dude, he threw a pool chair off of an 8 story building. It was a successful night I'd say.
I've just informed her that you've voted her Chief-Adult-In-Charge-Of-Shit and that she will take the oath of office on Fri Dec 14th at 8 pm with her hand on a bottle of Jager.
Security has videotape of her blowing the boss against his car. Don't they know he entire parking lot is under video surveillance?
I may be going to Mexico. I just met a drug dealer at a strip club. Seems legit.
We got to his house, cuddled while watching game of thrones, then fucked during the repeat airing.
I ran into a wall that clearly had things popping out. My eyebrow was bruised, both arms, the bottom of my foot. Lost half of my finger nail, my fake eyelash was stuck in my hair and I have about 47 blurry pictures of a half naked zombie DJ.
He casually compared computer science to childbirth and I was like "hey, as someone who has wanted to fuck you for six months now, could you please never talk about childbirth ever again"
Randomize
