I had a talk with my mom about respecting myself and not acting like a whore so she will rip my nose ring out if she somehow sees that picture
She asked the class if starwars was based on a true story...
Haha im sorry. Its just financially responsiable to bang him instead of you right now.
then he compared my vagina to a dishwasher. A DISHWASHER?!
The fact that its 530pm and I'm saying to myself I should sober up since I'm at a family establishment should say enough
At this point, I really just need a sign in sheet for my vagina.
no, throwing your underwear at it is not the solution to everything
No longer is one of my lifelong dreams to ride in a kangaroo pouch. You have eternally ruined that for me. Thank you.
I just want to like rub my face on his abs
I need help
He has been feeding me cheesecake and candy for breakfast. Naked. For three days. How am I ever going to leave????
Would it be weird if I congratulated the guy who almost broke up my marriage for working on the marriage equality bill? You know, thanks for fighting for the sanctity of marriage. Weird, right?
Pretty sure this ice cream truck is following me.
Compositionally, that's actually a really nice picture.
And your penis looks really nice too.
Sorry my phone died. Obviously four o'clock in the morning is a good time to tell you this.
Put on your bikini and meet me at the pool \nit’s cock o’clock!
Randomize
