Should I hook up with a slut its your call
Yes. Wrap it. If you dont have a condom do it anyway. YOU ONLY LIVE ONCE.
how to cook rice: 1. put random amount of rice and water in a pot 2. have sex on the kitchen floor. when you are done having sex the rice is ready
hey, can i borrow that thing you never use?
what?
your penis
i just picked a peanut m&m up off the floor. with my toes. and then proceeded to eat it.
Who the hell brings a 6pack to a party. I'm trying to make mistakes.
sometimes i think life is slapping me across the face and laughing, saying "ha ha! you're an adult!"
nothing worse than sitting down ready for a solid porn sesh to find out your internet is out. comcast owes me a handjob
Fine then. I'll just do all this coke on my own this weekend and die. It'll be strictly your fault.
threw up on my 7.30 AM placement test. Never again
I went home with a guy last night because he showed me some magic tricks and kept shouting "THEY'RE ILLUSIONS MICHAEL!"
Just casually ripping a bowl in the chicken coop, with the chickens. NBD
Apparently I've told this bouncer I stalk him on Instagram 3 times. I should stop drinking. I only remeber saying it tonight. early sign of Alzheimer's
Is it possible to be drunk burnt? Like sun burnt but from drinking? Cus I think I that's what it feels like
Well his dad is my dentist so they've both been in my mouth.
I had to fake it. He was punching my vagina like it owed him money and enough was enough.
Randomize
