Im sick of reading dumb tattoos while having sex
he emptied an entire bag of goldfish onto the bed and rolled around yelling the theme to jaws trying to eat them
I just reenacted what a cuntadactyl would act like by putting straws in my mouth as teeth and roaring, Plz come get me.
Was this before, or after you took my brand new bag of shredded cheese, and "Made it rain"?
She looks like if Peter Griffin was a lesbian.
Run away.
just to let you know its hard to talk to your father while being fingered up against a car..
He took getting"shit in your neighbors hot tub drunk" way to literally
I have a physical this friday. On a scale from 1-10, 10 being the most judgemental gay bashing, how much judgement am I gonna get from my dr when he checks my balls and sees the cherry tattoo
I do NOT want to date a man who has no interest in going to a kangaroo farm
Its like drunk me is Oprah except instead of a car everyone's award is seeing my boobs
I'm sending midget strippers dressed as bull fighters with mini bottles of 1800 to your house. Already made the call. Jer is going halves on it. Can't be stopped! Won't be stopped!
Any sexual interaction is meaningless without pizza during half time.
Leaving Denver airport I just saw a group of young Republicans in matching green T-shirts that said "4/20 Baby!"
I think I left my thong in your bed. Careful. It has the power to destroy the agitator on a washing machine
What do you think would be the best way to remove a baby carrot from a vagina?
Randomize
