i think i have herpe
just one?
hanging on that rope, lady gaga looks exactly like a used tampon
all i know is that if they can hide that much blood in her outfit, they definitely could have hid a penis
Watching marley and me... this girls got me whipped man
Medical school killed my enjoyment of porn. Hard to keep a boner when you're diagnosing all the actor's STDs and skin disorders.
no i did not stop my best friend from eating out my sister...bros before hoes
I have a drinking game planned. Were gunna watch empire records. Everytime they say rex manning we have to take a shot
My gym is having a pizza and beer party. God im starting to love this place.
You need to tell your booty call to take some sudafed or something. I swear I thought you were humping Kermit the frog last night
i threw up in a box in my own lap driving today.
Oh my god. A memory of last night just came to me. One of our neighbors joked about Thomas having a big dick and I just kept shaking my head profusely.
right now I need to figure out a smart way to get an accurate picture of his dick so I know what in dealing with, right now in flying blind.
There's going to be a velveeta shortage. I'm not drunk any more, this is just dire info.
I'm naked in a forest ranger station right now
So my plane's delayed and some guy is talking to "sparkles" he just told her to never again sell drinks from her cleavage. This is why I don't go home
I wanna get to the point where I can just send a question mark and get an exclamation point in response
Randomize
