Partly cloudy chance of praying to the porcelin gods
Leaving terminator. dude in front of us leaving was wearing a baggy micael vick jersey, cargo shorts and brown crocs. God I hate people.
I decided that $2 and a kiss on the cheek was a great tip for the pizza girl. No one is REALLY sure how much I've have to drink.
DONT TAKE THE KEG OUT OF THE HOT TUB I NEED A PICTURE OF ME DOING A KEG STAND ON IT
The only reason anyone found out he threw up is because everyone heard it sizzle the bonfire out.
Exactly, finding that perfect flask to come with you on all your adventures is like finding the perfect wedding dress. You have to feel it.
some guy just burried his vomit in the sand.
Apparently im getting a reputation for how i mix drinks. Im the midas of booze. Everything i touch turns to koolaid.
I feel like our lives always have been and always will be a never ending drunken rampage full of pregnancy scares and lost brain cells
I respect your roll as DD and there're am required to respect your vehicle
Apparently I send drunk snapchats a lot and they always have random dudes in them. Like one night it was just me and some guy I don't know sitting on my couch.
Of the 4 nights I've gone downtown this week, I've been "piss in the parking lot" drunk 5 times
If I had 3 wishes one would for sure be a designated driver for life that gives hand jobs.
We went from him going down on me to swapping baby pictures of our moms.
If I get the job, I'm gonna get wasted to celebrate. If I don't get the job, I'm gonna get wasted to forget. Win-Win
Randomize
