I just saw a like a 30 person deep walk of shame... it was like the million man march but with dorm chicks
Some creeps at the festival started talking to me, so I told them I was going change my tampon. Worked like a charm.
At what point in time did you think it was ok to jizz in my hair while I slept??
Around the time you told me my brothers dick was bigger.
ok, just found out the kid i had random sex with in April was on wheel of fortune so i can really no longer say i regret that night
Then he told me he was proud of me for remembering that i blew him that night.. Maybe my drinking is getting out of hand.
TINY HANDS NOT FOR BUTTHOLES
This is going everywhere on the internet.
remember when I told you about my grandma asking me about my sex scars? Less comfortable than that
I took in his dog. My exboyfriend still calls me for 2 things, blow jobs and animal rescue. I need to end this cycle
i was trying to figure out what "tidy fucking" was when i realized he meant "titty fucking" and i need to start banging smarter people....
The fake number she gave me was for Pappa John's. Now I have a large pepperoni on the way.
When dressing for a 3way, how do I convey to the other chick I care enough to look pretty but not so much that it's a huge deal?
I just need you to appreciate that this is the first time I've ever been cut off and it's at an airport bar in Philly before 1 o'clock in the afternoon.
Hypothetically speaking how does one remove a lamp that they hypothetically superglued to the ceiling?
Acetone nail polish remover, and you lied about studying last night didn't you?
Oh definitely.
Drunk sex on a hardwood floor is never ever a good idea. Lesson learned.
And I think she just drunkenly ordered an ipad. she said it was so pretty she couldn't keep it "locked up" because an ipad has to be let free.
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