The guy in front of me in Sociology is definitely working on my farm in farmville. Never met him before. Do I thank him?
This is great- I found hangover detoxifying bath salt online. It flushes out the alcohol. We need this.
Crumbling up chips, putting them in salsa, eating with spoon. New level of stoner fatassery. Its so genius/delicous i'm not even ashamed
how the hell did this chicken wing end up in my cast?!
My roommate says its rare that you can be tear gassed before you lose your virginity so i feel accomplished in life
Well you just missed the ten chi o pledges singing la bamba at our doorstep.
well I was pissed. first he yelled at me for having my own condoms, then he got mad when they didn't fit him. Dude, I only fuck magnum men.
Omg. Some dude is jacking off in Kelly's bathroom.
Lets start a coed nudist frat/sorority. It would be amazing. Or just an orgy club. It would also be amazing
Just keep your throat open and beer will always find its way in.
You know something is wrong with your life when your mom is at the bar getting free tequila shots and you aren't
The frequency with which I change my vibrator batteries is getting a little ridiculous....
Woke up with a throbbing vagina and a lesbian in my bed. Then for the hell of it we had morning sex. Definitley bisexual now
Dude you came into the room last night soak and wet and told me you just took a shit in the shower
so let me get this straight you just stared at his boner all night?
Randomize
