Tell LD happy birthday and party like it's $19.99
Recession joke.
I have pink band-aids all over my body, WHAT HAPPENED?
Keg backpack and a Bike
The horrors my penis has endured I wouldn't wish upon any man.
screw it, I'll just be a stripper until next August when then are looking for suitable teachers to teach the future of America. it's like a feel good movie just a little out of order and im a dude.
Dancing naked to Celine dion - im alive. No better way to start the day
Apparently getting a blow job in the mens room from the bar owners daughter will get you kicked out.
No fucking judgements. You know me. Chinese food vent sessions are safe places.
He referred to our sex as being similar to "Two cheetahs cage fighting" and I have to agree.
Why is my hat full of peanuts?
Don't throw them out, I'm on my way
So dude comes out in a full body leotard and a wand and announced he's king of the gays. Chicago is a weird but fun place
you know that moment when all the alcohol kicks in and suddenly you realize the bar is very loud and you just want to bite someone sexy and ride their face i am kinda at that moment
You need to stop telling people you gained weight over the holidays. You've been fat since July.
you need a warning label. Just announcing that you are Scottish is seen more as a challenge. Those guys have no idea what they are getting into.
Of course his biggest mistake was assuming that I ever gave a fuck to begin with.
I don’t care that he’s a decade younger. He’s cute and I need a good penising
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