Why did you send me a picture of a dick?
It was an accident sry. Not mine tho.
theres a dog humping me and im not going to stop it... i really need to get laid.
Pretty sure he sprained my tongue. This is why you don't hook up with gingers.
I'm glad we are bonding over both contracting clamidya. Winners.
100%
I think he just caught a duck in mid flight
Seriously, I'm making a calendar and marking off the days with little penis's
when I woke up, he was drunk and singing "soft kitty" and petting my face
He didn't even realize I was drunk. He probably just thought I loved Torchwood so much that I no longer knew how to use my thumbs
She called and said her prescription was refilled. I guess we are dating again.
My mind doesn't wanna day drink but my heart does.
i'm now remembering the last part of my nigght....ugh. apperently i bargained with the wendys drive up girl after they closed and got "w/e they had left" for $7
He unofficially told me he deleted his tinder because of me. I think that’s a pretty romantic gesture in 2018
No I feel the same as usual. Mopey with a chance of bitch fits.
her idea of a romantic time is a bottle of jager, some Guacamole and chips.
can't go wrong with guac.
I woke up to the sound of her peeing at the end of the bed at 4am.
Randomize
