I'm going to let the use of the word "hella" slide considering I have sperm older than you.
When we made out her lip\nose ring fell out in my mouth. Awkward?
If we were unicorns we would fly together. Like in a pack. A pack of flying unicorns.
Did I tell you I had a charge show up for $36 on a credit card I haven't used in 6 months from Wild Wings? It was that night we slept across the street from the bar.
OK WHO CHANGED MY RING TONE TO LADY AND THE TRAMP AND CHANGED EVERY CONTACT IN MY PHONE TO 'SOME GUY I FUCKED'?
Has anyone ever told you you're majestic like a sea turtle when you fuck?
And your cock privileges have been revoked.
He crawled outside into the bushes to throw up. He's just laying there now but he says he'll be ready to come home if we just give him five
Come back I feel like I ticking time bomb of
of drugs
Sorry I got completely naked in your bed, but I feel our friendship has grown because of it.
She invited me to Bikini Yoga with her friends. Sounds promising.
Owwwww. Yeah. I can barely move unless Im high on vicodin. We are bad at drinking/balancing. We will be the first to break hips and have to go into a home.
She said to me, without hesitation, "make me an offer better than my sugar daddy and I'll go with you"
COME AND FUCKING GET ME I AM IN SOME SORT OF JUNKYARD!!!
My cats name is now jello shot. How much do you love me right now?
She said cowgirls can can pee standing up and proceeded to pull up her dress and drop her underwear.
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