I have demons in me.
I wish you had a penis so you could experience peeing out the window in front of a crowd of people leaving parties.
I'm sorry but when I'm riding in the trunk on the way to mcdonalds at 6 am I just don't want to listen to reba macintire
Why did I think it was so necessary to steal that rolling pin?
Just saw the guy with the plastic bag on his head riding his bike again...
I found the hair cut I want on the girl in the porno I'm watching. now really sure how to show my stylist.
Besides. I seriously had a dream that George W Bush came over and slapped some tabs down on my kitchen counter and said "let's get juiced.". It was a sign to not get too fucked up
1. My arms are cement 2. I wish dogs could answer the phone
I wound up gambling on giant connect four with the bartender. I think he saw my boobs.
So apparently I was a completely different person lastnight, one who drinks scotch and makes out with 55 year old men who look like inspector gadget
why the fuck is there hamburger meat in the toaster. i repeat: WHY THE FUCK IS THERE HAMBURGER MEAT IN MY NEW TOASTER
It's only funny because he thinks you had sex with him to rob him.
I don't know why this person would ask for help. It sounds pretty OK to me. Also, I'd steal those bagpipes.
you had her IN YOUR BED NO PANTS AND YOU GAVE HER THW BOOT?!?!?!
Stage five clinger bro. had to go.
I don’t know what language he speaks but I know my boobs will translate just fine
I’m looking forward to few days of international relations
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