hi i'm bored and kind of... in a sort of dirty mood
pics
no i'm at a mixer dressed up as the teenage mutant ninja turtles
Everytime we come here you have an ex here.
Nothing says Christmas like gin and tears.
so i turned around to do some reverse cowgirl when he said that this was such a better visual for him. Bad compliment or serious insult. i cant tell
it's fine if we fail the bar, we were never going to satisfy the moral character requirement anyway
just saw someone whip out a flask during lecture... I think I found a study partner
You screamed at all of us and then showed us your sack. You're like the boyfriend of my dreams.
I'm at this kids house trying to figure out if I pissed in his kitchen new years eve. Lmao, stop letting me drink.
its before 9am and ive already had to dip my dick and balls in a glass of milk. probably isnt a good sign for how today is going to go.
It feels like a bunch of leprechauns are using my brain as a soccer ball
The plane down was full of newly weds and I counted 5 pairs of mile high club members. Actually, one might have been a group membership discount.
I don't need my coworkers thinking I'm a nutcase.
You gift wrapped a tampon.
being serenaded is actually kind of awkward 2/10 do not reccommend
Remember when you gave their 80 year old doorman a line of molly at 5am?
He ate me out in a limo while we were driving home. I love bars being open again!
Randomize
