bras are like tupperware for tits, keeps em fresh.
Last night was def like the makeout party episode of full house
he came up my nose again i swear he does this just to piss me off
Have you ever wondered what your stripper song would be?
Just woke up to find myself cooking eggs on the imaginary stove in my room.
i mad aa ber float. budweiser nd ice creem. it amzig.
Her bed is on wheels, so we woke up in the kitchen.
The pride tent is doing free lube tastings. There is also a mechanical bull.
Me and two guys that I made Eskimo bros all soberly slept together in my bed
I've been here for three hours and I am already feeling sorry for whatever offspring i will indefinitely produce in this place.
I pray for you bro.
I clipped one of my extensions in his hair to give him a rat tail. What is my life?
I just got caught impersonating a t-Rex by my boss. Sadly he wasn't fazed by my behavior and acted like it was normal.
we got stoned then he started showing me how to make his penis look like a hamburger...if that's not true love idk what love is
I have 35 pounds of pennies. Need any?
Hey, you should go to your facebook ASAP... i'm guessing you're wasted but you just uploaded a picture of someones dick...and everyones taking bets now if its Rick or Mikes..
Randomize
