i just realized how high i was when i was screaming red light challenge at the top of my lungs and am watching it alone
this guy literally just gave me a gold star sticker for the "stellar" blow job i gave him. ashamed? i think not.
All I want in this world right now are Doritoessssss
OK. You going to get home safe? Who are you with?
Doritoesssssss
Package from mother. Contents: Cookies, my old pokemon cards, and condoms. Note: "These have a July 2010 expiration date so give them away or use them with a gal that would be a great daughter in law. Love Mom" Love you too momma
The lego bong didn't work. Just made us look stupid
She is just riding on my slutty coat tails.
there's a guy pushing a keg up the street in a shopping cart. you have to love graduation
he tried to catch his projectile vomit...then went back to beer pong
She poured beer through the deck into the hot tub. She called it a deck shot. It was horrifying but super awesome at the same time.
I'm at the hospital waiting for my sister to push out her kid. I think I'll roam the halls and shame all the teenage mothers.
So lets not base feelings on vagina tingles
How do I say "I still wanna hook up w you but I don't wanna see your penis via text ever again" through a snapchat
Omg have I shown you my skeezy ex fiancée?
The other one.
No, it's ok. He's Greek. To him I'm just a light drinker, not an alcoholic.
my friends roomated asked me this morning if we went to mcdonalds last night and i had no idea...that is until i checked my purse and found half a mcdouble in it...
Randomize
