I'm drunk in f*****g wisconsin and want to kill myself.
If it's any consolation, be grateful that you're not in New Jersey.
Laying in bed naked with the guy I just fucked, talking to his WIFE who's sitting across from us like we're having a fucking tea party. This is interesting.
Me= Watching Ferngully. My neighbor= Having really loud sex including multiple orgasms
Oh God
I know, but the worst part is I'm not really sure which I'd rather be doing. Feel free to re-evaluate our friendship
And, I saw Emily's panties. How? She doesn't sit like a lady.
I left a bag of circus animal cookies in my car all day. they melted together into on giant cookie. this could either be the best or worst thing ever
I forgot how hot balto sounded
if you're passed out when i get there i get to wear your banana costume and do awful things to you
I need a good reason NOT to eat this entire jar of nutella right now
Ok that kid was ether gay or 12 with a beard.
SO DRUNK
PUKED IN DRIVEWAY
TELL PARENTS SORRY
Well my summer has already been productive. I partially caused a divorce.
You are attracted to power and since you can't date the married old guy you have to go for the next best thing - his gay son
Is Facebook telling the truth about your nipples?!
the sex got boring after the first three hours
holy shit
WHAT THE FUCK I JUST PULLED TWO TAMPONS OUT OF MY VAGINA. WHERE DID THE OTHER ONE COME FROM??
....surprise!
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