it's like sucking your thumb. only its not yours. and its a penis.
We are casual work acquaintances that occasionally fuck when the urge strikes. CWATOFWTUS. I know FWB rolls off the tongue better but it is what it is.
I'm about to play Thunderstruck by myself, that way I'll always get the long thunder part.
I like to think of it as a lesbian feast.
And if it was a miscarriage you should figure out whose it was. He must be an alphamale for his offspring to sustain life this long in the amusement park that is your body
Don't worry we will all be making bad decisions soon
That's the most comforting thing I've heard in months
If Dave says he's going to have sex with her, he's going to fuck her retarded and turn her crazy. So run.
If drawing me a picture of his dick in draw something is flirting then he is doing it wrong.
I sat down next to him and my bra just unhooked itself
Jumanji is 1000% better stoned while cooking breakfast.
I think I may have some undocumented and undiscovered std that causes girls to go bat shit crazy. How you got it is beyond me
He made the Waffle House lady get me out of the car. This isn't a joke.
Drunkenly making hamburger helper. I just whispered "I can't wait to have you in my mouth."
You’re about to have a sober threesome with a rando at a Fenway bar?
It just makes sense. It's like I end a relationship, and wash myself of sin... with tequila.
Randomize
