no it's cool...i'm just drinking and studying...cool night
just found out my horoscope sign is scales. it's like i was destined to be a drug dealer
You know that hot fire fighter I fucked yesterday? Well him and two other guys are killing the fire on my stove. Awkward.
had to split buying plan b over two cards. I will no longer challenge people to get on my level
I don't know if it's lucky or if it really just makes my tits look THAT good, but I've never NOT gotten laid with this bra on
The lifeguard told us we had to move Mike before the tide came in when he passed out.
it's been dubbed the summer of antibiotics
Some guy thought i was the waitress and handed me his credit card. drinks on me.
I started rolling down the window so he pulled into a gas station and i puked all over the side of the car while some dude stared at me. I waved and we drove away
These people don't understand my stages of drunk
You lit a fire in my vagina no man can extinguish.
I don't know what's wrong with me. The guy from bar rescue is making me horny
He totally just went there for sex cuz he slept in her roommates bed the rest of the night after they were done...
pure definition of booty call.
You were throwing up into a trash can full of used condoms. I had to intervine.
I'll give you some leg action but I'm not showing you anything else until your penis admits it loves me
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