Help. Asians are flirting in front of me(773): They speak asian
let's have our labels/stereotypes/careers for each kid by next week.
oh how i love working at summer camp.
Sorry I never got back to you. I got high. I know it sounds like a commercial or something... but its true
You only ask me to come over when your gf is gone, and thats usually at midnight to cook chicken salad and watch you pass out
hotel security told us you walked into the hotel with blood all over your dress, weren't wearing any underwear and were escorted back by three men who were believed to be "homosexuals".
no one is here. wer drinking in the beer garden in the dark and we stole a bucket of blue paint off the sidewalk. now her legs are blue.
My google searches from last night: tetanus shot rabbit bite, Bacardi gluten free
If you see my mugshot on the news tomorrow, its not what you think
Why didn't I see you last night!?
We made out like 4 times....I think I saw you.
IT WAS SO BIG. I FORGOT GOD MADE THEM LIKE THIS.
I have a vague memory of you tryin to ride a unicycle through jimmy johns
I thought the Bane mask would really repel dudes but instead I ended up grinding on a frat dude that whispered "bad bitch contest, you in first place" in my ear in a Batman voice
It's important to establish I slept with her BEFORE we officially became cousins-in-law.
Haha I'M GOING TO MISS HIS PENIS SO MUCH. But not his bipolarness.
3.5 bazillion penises. So not that hard to find a new good one
Its just akward. Everytime he tells me he loves me, I have to respond with, I love having sex with you. and he just stares at me in amazement
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