Eric said he heard us having sex the other night. He said i did a great job.
Of all the things I am low enough to do, how could you even doubt if that was one of them?
he's dressed up as pikachu 3 fucking years in a row and gotten laid each time. i don't understand
Do you think they make a "sorry in my drunken debauchery I dropped a pumpkin off the balcony and you happened to be standing right there/get well soon" card?
Glow parties are what I live for
Your priorities in life astound me
Imma do me. And by that, I mean I'm going to walk across campus still drunk at 9am on a Tuesday.
he's the second guy to suck on my nipple in front of my friends that i haven't made out with.
Why is there soup literally in every orifice of my body?
A drawer in my room has nothing but a large feather quill, a wine glass, and a 15" Bowie knife. If you could put my life in a drawer I think that would be it.
This amicable friendliness is dull. We either need to start fighting or fucking around. I'll even let you pick.
Pretty sure my parents just hear me get off from the living room but I feel like they should be proud that I did it without a man honestly.
His cat just sat there and simultaneously bobbed his head up and down while I blew him
it was an ACCIDENT
it was a DICK
I swear we were drugged last night
We had a 130$ tab bitch. We drugged ourselves.
For the love of all that is holy just take the tranquilizers Erica
Randomize
