...i apologize for hitting you up so much tonight im just kinda in a little pickle. im going to sleep in my car near u so pretty plz lmk if you head home...
your life is more of a joke than dina lohan.
if you\'re going to compare me please pick the classy one. Michael Lohan.
I wanted to tell him he wasn't actually in me, but my god, awkward?
I wonder what it would be like to masturbate in space
There was jim beam in your oven. I just preheated it.
ugh. my friday night is playin' Farmville on my face. time to harvest the blackheads...
i cant believe i hit a parked car with a pink dildo in my mouth... fuckin epic
she was in the bathroom washing her eye makeup off with hand sanitizer.
I think our prof has caught onto our drinking game. He burst into the room with a big smile on his face and yelled "essentially! Essentially! Essentially!"
We're fucking and Lee Greenwood God Bless the USA comes on and he came. It was the most Roll Tide America moment of my life.
In case you're wondering what frozen hashbrowns taste like at 4 in the afternoon, shame. They taste like shame.
I've officially dedicated my newly single life to making myself squirt.
When he mumbled "I can't feel my legs," proceeded to stand, fall over, and just lay there I knew I'd given great head...
Seriously, I really just burned my nipple making ravioli.. I'd explain, but no reasoning makes this acceptable:/
She told me the next morning I stared at her tits for like 15 minutes with binoculars from only a few seats away.
Randomize
