Yeah true. Damn vaginas. They're ruining the world.
i wonder if i could find a boyfriend who would call me big papa
sure if you go to prison
Yo, if someone calls you asking for John Stamos, just go with it.
I honestly don't know what my boundaries are, but shitting on me is crossing them.
do to the flooding of the park, there will be a midnight bikini mud wrestling party behind my dorm. all are welcome.
Nothing sez sunday morning like waking up in a phonebooth with a leg cramp.
i've really grown. sober me left an alarm for me every 10 minutes that said NO FAT CHICKS!
dude. im stealing that.
This year i'm grateful for nothing other than the discovery that the uncircumcized rumors about him were wrong
Hey have you ever thought about fishing cause I'd like to go fishing but don't know anyone that fishes and I'm gonna cry because. FISHING
New drunken fun fact of last night, after I pushed Sarah and before I started making out with guy #1, I shouted that I'd go to third base on a first date, then threw myself at him
I want morning sex. We can incorporate maple syrup into it somehow, it'll be fun
he just exposed your dildo usage to the table.
Just walked in and got handed a drink. Good service
idk what to be more embarrassed/confused about, that i lost my underwear or that i woke up covered in fried rice
Fucker was flying a Bruins flag. He can pick up the dog's poop himself.
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