At a sweet 16. cant remember what shirt im wearing byt dnt worry im not sleeping w/ the guy who serves the chicken nuggets again
ok so i jsut did the walk of shame with this random guy that i had sex with at the hotel party, and the lady at the front desk said "wow you're just now leavin?"
apparently, it's not a good idea to make jokes about sending newborns through airport security xrays. the moms dont see the humor.
But why'd she put it on the conveyor then?
Decided to write a book called "girls don't poop and other myths I wish I still believed in"
I asked him where the store BJ's was and he unzipped his pants.
spending the week with her family was quite possibly the longest ive ever gone without having a boner
dont get me wrong, i like when a guy is into my boobs but when he started saying mama i want milk let me suck, i gathered my shit together and bounced.
He bought me a pink rose and a Plan B. I really like this guy.
There was definitely a significant amount of cookie dough in my bra
The water at the venue tasted HORRIBLE so I just kept drinking booze. It was like the medievals.
Lol I wish they went straight to your cock then shot out into my mouth like a cock nacho dispenser
I was so high I watched a 5 minute video of different scenes of horses running. The music was magical.
I ran into a wall that clearly had things popping out. My eyebrow was bruised, both arms, the bottom of my foot. Lost half of my finger nail, my fake eyelash was stuck in my hair and I have about 47 blurry pictures of a half naked zombie DJ.
DUDE!!!!! THERE IS A MIDGET HANDING OUT RICE KRISPIE TREATS!!!!!! WHERE ARE YOU WHEN THE COOL SHIT GOES DOWN???????
I'll be wearing lingerie and holding a bottle of bourbon so pick up whatever food you think goes with that
Randomize
