what is TOTES MCGOATS in spanish?
It's not just about fucking anymore... We decided we're actually in like now..
she left out the fact that she had a kid until she told me not to suck on her tits too hard or milk would come out.
thinking back, the fact that our bartender was missing a finger shouldve been hint number one not to let him pick our drinks
I went out in a blaze of glory. I failed the field sobriety test by saying ABCD FUCK YOU.
When you consider the sheer number of events that had to occur in order to prevent me from fucking her, there must be a god
I think this hangover is going to kill me. If it succeeds I would like you to read a dramatic rendition of 'Trapped in the closet' complete with interpretative dance at my funeral.
Because selling drugs to kids never goes out of business. We get older, they stay the same stupid.
Dude just texted me asking if I could drive 45 mins for a quickie dude use your hand
Are there any rules against fucking the hot TA?
Maybe for her....
Her problem, not mine
I just faked an orgasm while masturbating. Idk what exactly my problem is but I have one
You peed in my kitchen, while crying and insisting my floor was a toilet.
Found your bra
Where?
Hanging in the tree
woke up to find a case of beer in the oven and a random puppy in the house...guess i had a party last night?
Tanner. All u drink. 10 bckaa. Locked in Porto potty outside. Constructed area. Main strrrreeeett. Fuck. Help. Pleese
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