Btw, I'm really high so I apologize if anything I say gets translated into arabic.
it was such a weird mix, KFC and penis
I can't believe i facilitated a beer for sweater vest deal last night...
I almost caused an explosion; It's okay though. because everyone would have died having a good time.
of course! give me a few hours to recover from chugging a 4loko out of a frisbee, and it will be rage time yet again
Anything you tell me within three minutes of an orgasm isn't even being recorded in my head.
Why were you staring at her like that over breakfast?
Because I was eating with a spoon to remind her that she threw up on my hand while she was MAKING me spoon with her after our drunk sex. She got it. Don't worry.
Sorry I don't make house calls. You wanna get blown you come over here. It's like rock paper scissors but vagina ALWAYS beats penis
TACOBELL COOL RANCH TACOS MARCH 7TH. I think realistically that will be more like valentines day for us. Bc nothing says romance like tacobell.
don't care how drunk i am. my dick was like "nope, not doing it, you can't make me and i was like oh yes i can"
i tried to propose to him with my nipple ring but i couldnt figure out how to take it out
Apparently swingers are magnetically drawn to me?
the last thing i heard from her was "i wanna get fucked by a stranger" and i haven't seen her since
I need to show you how I feel about you by fucking you repeatedly.
Howd last night go?
well he stumbled in my parents door drunk and then asked my mom if she was my grandma. Id say as far as first impressions go, he failed miserably
Randomize
