she is unbelievable! ever pee on a girl?
not while she was awake
Hands down the best time I've ever had barfing.
I told him I would sleep with him if he could name all the colors of the wind.
It's all fun and games until the last slice of pizza gets bong water spilled on it.
If I knew losing weight would mean this many fucking creepers I would've just stayed fat.
Bloody Mary Monday just took a turn for the worst... Just had a heart to heart talk with the cat about it's obsession with chewing on cardboard.... Time for a nap.
She just kept saying "bless your heart" to him while he cried because he came so fast. I think a Texas woman was just what he needed
I think we got naked. I can't remember but if you have "friends" written on your ass, then we did. Because I have "best" on mine.
her vagina just converted me to Judaism.
watched my neighbor eat five yodels, mow his lawn, and then cry on his porch after the party... what did you give him?
I'm covered in bite marks and have a cracked rib - was a good weekend
I feel like I lost a fight with an 800 lb gorilla made of tequila
We lost a person.... if you see a man in yellow shorts and nothing else walking around let me know...
there's no judgement here...i was recently just fingered in my dorm hallway while having a conversation with 5 people.
A dozen naked frat boys in squirrel masks just ran by. Welcome to the official start of the holidays.
Randomize
