Every time we go downtown I ask myself why we live in Des Moines
Guy at red light looking at porn. I'm waiting for him to look over at me so I can shake my head and he can feel bad
I fucked her to her "thinking of him" playlist. Sucks to be that guy haha
Her name is Sherri and her sister's are Brandy and Champagne. Of course I want to meet her parents.
So the girl in front of me was buying champagne too .. I wanted to be like "so are you celebrating clean test results too?"
Just slept with my boyfriend's roomie to learn if bf was cheating on me
Good plan. When in doubt, sleep about.
I'm pretty sure you thought I could absorb alcohol through my dress
You're my spirit guide. This has to do with oatmeal cream pies.
I don't even know why im sitting in this office eating a poptart.
She asked for her virginity back. I don't know what to say
Defrosting my uncrustable with my laptop...Hungover dinner
But for real, I had the best sex of my life on that bunk bed
Is it a bad thing that I've made out with everybody I work with?
I did all i could do but i woke up smelling like cigars and theres salsa all over my face
Get over here and bring your drill!!! The strippers next door need help installing a stripper pole by their pool
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