i don't care what she did to you. we are not having sex in front of your sister.
Just hide your weed in your baby brothers shirt. TSA wont check a baby, thats fucked up
Just saw the first guy I gave head to lose in the french open...some how I feel better that my mistake made it to the same mistake as our relationship, the third round. Don't judge.
the orgasm was like being thrown to the other end of reality, so getting a nosebleed from it wasnt too upsetting at that point
you said you were a responsible adult. then you licked the wall.
You mAke me stone. Stone fuck fucking stoned. I'm an stoned you cuz now fucking stoned stoned fucking stoned I stone.
Is cereal technically a soup?
Fuck, I'm high.
Went outside and he was playing rock paper scissors with a cop over a drunk in public ticket.
I feel very compelled to cut off the person's ears that is sitting in front of me
I might stash a bottle of vodka in your mailbox, that way if I wanna leave early I can drink in your frontyard till you get back.
She proceeded to flip everyone off then open a Heineken with her teeth.
So why are your hands bright blue and have you seen my roommate.
Both questions will answer each other.
So I came to the conclusion that who ever pour my ever clear out saved my life
He puked all over the side of the car and the head rest behind him...and then all he said was "America."
she prefaced telling me she was pregnant with "houston, we have a problem"
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