Just set a new record on Need For Speed at the arcade. Had to enter Tiger Woods as the name.
Just tried to fight the dj at cowboys because he would'nt play freebird. Pick me up now.
WHY AREWNT YOU HERE SO MUCH FUN STUFF DO IT GET IN CAR NOW caps lock
during a bj, his alarm went off and he said "At the buzzer"
Maybe the downfall to liking really smart guys is that they're to smart to think about sex all the time.
Think about if the incredible hulk and king kong had a retarded baby. That's the sound she made in my ear the entire time I fucked her.
Is she still in your room?
Not for long. My plan is to smoke her out like a small woodland creature.
I've been on this train for an hour and this women has been on the phone and all she's said is "guuurrrrrlllll, gurl, gurl." I may commit suicide.
He just kept mumbling that he was too drunk for society and then he peed in a bush
I was desperate and wasn't about to let my cereal get soggy so I ate it on the toilet. Don't let me repeat last night.
He stuck a cigarette in my butt last night. There is no coming back from that.
I had a dream I hooked up with Post Malone. I can still smell the dream
its liver damage thursday
My life is far to together for someone who's such a hot mess inside
We made a blanket fort in my dorm room and fucked in it. Twice. I'm in love.
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