Well i have to fuck at least one of your roommates this year to keep the tradition alive.
So puking trix and chicken wings is horrible but atleast we got free drinks for taking the trash out at the bar we are really movin up in the world
You are NEVER going to guess whose penis was JUST in my mouth!!!
I'll give you a hint, we ate paste with him in kindergarten.
I woke up next to him fully clothed but my thong was around his neck. Polling to decide if we had sex or not starts now.
Woke up shivering behind the titty bar, With the worst leg cramps. I'm like a poster boy for responsibility.
I just ran into the married chick you banged 2 years ago at our apt! She asked me if I could get her coke! Memories bro. Memories
You guys bombarded us in the bathroom and that kid whipped his dick out and peed in the sink.
I just want my birth control to stop making me feel like I'm watching baby seals get clubbed to death any time anything even remotely unpleasant happens lol
Apparently I really was petting a bunny named lazarus in Jimmy Johns last night.
Oh my god there are animals here. There are actusal animals trying to get him. A giraffe is trying to get in. A giraffee is trying to get in. Is ridiculouss.
haha all our friends are at the carnival and I'm on stage dry humping a 40 year old
Can you send me the pic of me puking with a quesadilla on my shoulder
I watched a compilation video today of a guy banging his sex doll to edm music. I just had to tell someone.
You were so fucked you introduced me to a pile of Laundry
I wondered why I slept in the front room
Hey bring in backup. its going to take a lot more beer than we think to fill up the water bed...
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