would you ever date a girl who drove an 89 Chrysler LeBaron? - for the record it's a convertable
either she said she was feeling frisky or eating friskies..i was too drunk to understand.
She was doing lines off of her friends boobs in the limo at 9 oclock on a thursday This has the potential to be the best weekend ever
I just found your spare underwear and the half eaten granola bar you left in my purse.
thats it. im teaching my cat how to use a fire alarm
And then the lady sheeps would bring me the finest grass to eat cuz im the sheep king and id have sexy smooth sheep fur
You can't possibly imagine how much I miss you. At least I'll always have that hidden folder in my computer.
Some idiot from high school is in the hospital for bonging three beers up his ass
He should have died. Natural selection.
I started scrolling back in our texts looking for context and a picture of your dick rose like the Great Pumpkin in the middle of my screen.
I'll remember. Also, I owe you 200 for a pair of shoes that I carelessly bought to improve my spinal structure, to improve my health and ensure that I love to be 300 years old. Like Adam. Of the bible.
Bitch, he is not your friend and this is not Bravo. Get in this car before you get smacked
You know what the worst feeling in the world is? Sitting in your 6pm AA meeting still hungover from the night before
I'm very impressed by your ability to explain a story about your fiery snatch solely in emojis. props.
Vacuum the place before you go out of town there are random glitter cocks everywhere
Since when do my one night stands start sending you friend requests?
Randomize
