New Jersey isn't a real state, it's just a myth you tell little kids to scare them like Canada or Carrot Top
I just masturbated to the audio from my psych lecture . . . this screwing my prof fantasy is getting serious.
All I had with a note saying that my shoes are in the ceiling and good luck.
Just found out they make medicinal lollipops, bought like 40 of them. Gonna go fill a pediatricians lollipop bowl.
You sat there for 20minutes trying to seduce the picture of my dad.
its warm now so i can go back to sleeping with guys based on their fuckability rather than how much warmth they generate.
I don't feel bad about fucking old guys. That's what I want. It's what I likeeeeee.
They were scared I was going to get lost last night so they dressed me up as Waldo so someone would always find me.
We were all in the pool and he showed up with a pitcher of margarita. Everyone swam over to him. He poured it directly into our mouths like we were a Sea World act.
It makes showers more interesting trying to drink a gin and tonic and keep soap out of my eyes at the same time.
You need to calm down.
But I REALLY want to hide my crazy for as long as possible with him so he'll date me.
It was easier that asking where the vagina platter is.
This feeling I'm having... is it love or a combination of alcoholism and unprotected rough sex
I'm trying. I feel like we're trying to have sex with fruitcake. dry and boring.
I tried to celebrate Halloween, Thanksgiving, Hannukah, and New Years all in one night.
Randomize
