omg. don't know how to spell his name, but hot new zealand guy's dick is magic
I woke up this morning and saw that I had transferred $0.75 from my savings account to my checking account.
All she said was "the usual?" and unzipped my pants.
We are not buying weed off a guy from the internet.
You peed in my camelbak and said it was a reverse catheter. Not cool.
We were messing around at his place it was going fine until he said, "I'm going to cum, hand me the shot glass"
She said I looked exactly like my dad. Then she made out with me. Should I be questionable?
PS- I just ordered a two man zebra costume. Would you like to be my back end?
Today is going to be the longest game of "was that a fart, or do I need to go wipe?" I have ever played. Maybe the most challenging too.
We're now referring to our nightly Skype time as "strokes of genius." Long distance sucks.
The more I piece together last night the more I want to vomit it out of my brain.
I appreciate the fact that you sent me a snapchat of your dick soaking in a cup of water.
Cookies and nudity, all you need in life
Just letting you know that your little sister is now your eskimo brother. You can send a thank you edible arrangement to Tammy.
He’s going to a lawnmower race. I got a Brazilian and he’s racing a lawnmower race. Pick me up. I’m not wasting this waxing on John Deer
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