Midget sex pt 2 tonight
He told me he could read braille... with his tongue. So I took him home. I don't think he was lying
We did lines off of a Whitney Houston CD case. That makes everything okay.
All I remember is that the bartender wouldn't give me scissors cuz I was too drunk
Meet me at the corner of "what the fuck" and"how'd you get in my bed" in 10 minutes.
I just burped jalapeños and cum. That was the most disgusting thing ever.
That one dude should feel honored if he were to get herpes from you. Fuck that Guy. He is a herpe.
Do you think next time you could control the yawn? Kind of a buzzkill to be mid-orgasm and see you yawning over there.
Riding the train home at 6 am for class still drunk is losing its novelty in my junior year
Do you think if i wear this shirt with my bengals boxers this kid will fall out of love with me a little bit because that's what I was going for.
My ex's new girlfriends ex boyfriend is getting me my nipples pierced for Valentine's Day so who's the real winner here
I'll explain later but I just had to legally commit to abstinence for the next 4 months
We told him to puke in the Denny's parking lot or we wouldn't be his friend anymore. So he did. He wasn't even drunk.
long story short... we may or may not have lost your car.
I made the antidote to the nasty cognac. I AM THE GOD OF MIXED DRINKS.
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