the party we crashed was not a party. the party we crashed was jens grandads funeral.
why do guys feel they can ask questions when im blowing them? you'd think they'd know my answer will always be "mmhmhmhmmm"
i luv seein jocks study. its like watching monkeys masturbate.
i feel sorry for the hotel staff that makes the bed after we have sex
the last thing i remember saying is "hope you like body hair"
I like how he had to correct himself in stating that I was the fat one in the threesome.
I'm the brains and you're the boobs of this operation.
The number of people who end up getting laid as a result of the cha cha slide....is terrible.
Can you get the drug form of snow for the blizzard this weekend?
I HAVE A GENTLEMANLY VAGINA.
Congratulations on your downgrade, shes one hell of a 5
I've never wanted to punch a 94 year old woman in the vagina, and then call her next of kin to tell them I just muff punched their Gam Gam until today.
One day i'll wow you with artfully trimmed pubes.
I don't know what song to play at my bong's funeral!
I think I died and satan has brought me back to life and I'm paying for my sins with this hangover
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