Apparently every Tri-Delt knows what I did and I am blacklisted from ever dating anyone in that house.
Well ya you lied, told her you cared, took her virginity and then broke up with her at Christies Toy Box.
I honestly thought the dildo was a nice parting gift.
I just counted my steps so I know when you start looking for you on my way back from the bathroom
You know how us drunks love counting steps
And when I look at him, I just want him to say "I love you" in between deep thrusts and hard grunts.
i was watching some porn this morning and i realized i am blessed with a truly beautiful vagina
the boy next to me on the plane handed me a shot glass, then a perkaset, and told me to have a good week off..hellllo spring break.
bars should really give you discounts for bringing your own shot glass
I'm going on a nature/throwup walk. Don't lock me out of the apartment.
Somehow me not being able to breathe due to cocaine doesn't seem very domesticated.
We were playing hot potato with real potatoes at 3am
He was humming "here comes Peter cottontail" while unbuttoning his pants. Happy Easter to me
The Universe is CLEARLY playing a bad joke on your sex life
It is officially settled in my mind that fuck the hot grad student is THE goal this year
with the possibility that i could very easily fall in love with him and i've actually talked to my HUSBAND about it
Lol I'm just saying its too early for your penis, I can accept it but at a more decent hour
The weirdest part of it all was wondering if I was going to take off his fanny pack or he was before we fucked
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