For the record I fully support drunken you in most social situations... Just not charity events.
It was her 21st and she had one drink and fell asleep. I hate 90lb girls.
i'm duct taped to my bed with a condom in my hand. something went wrong
She barfed in the corner of the baby pool. Then she yelled "it's okay" repeatedly while trying to scoop it out.
A guy just washed his hands in the toilet. No joke
After Thursday my breakup "don't screw anybody out of respect" month will be over and I will be set loose. My pussy is purring with anticipation.
I'm surprised I haven't crapped out a leprechaun, I'm so hungover
I'm okay. We got a prayer rug sent to us with the face of jesus on it. From Tulsa Oklahoma. Kinda weird.
I'm gonna have sex with my clothes on and I'll know everyone there so I'll be in my comfort zone
i know i shouldn't tell you this since i want you to really like me but i just spent the last 4 hours sleeping on the toilet.
We learned many a lesson today about drug use in canoes
how do you feel about japanese?
I would eat half a street meat hotdog I found on the sidewalk, I'm good with anything.
No clue what you did last night, sorry. You did hand me a pizza and a mason jar with $1200 in small bills in it when I let you in though.
I just got to my parents hungover as hell. My dad could tell and said "theres only one cure for a hangover" and handed me a beer. This morning went from a 0 to 10 in an instant.
Standing straight up with intensity he came in his own mouth. I know this because he showed me the video from five different angles when asked if I would like him to demonstrate. And I did.
Randomize
