he used the word "rubber" i just couldn't do it after that.
I love having hate sex.
Is sexting at a funeral morally wrong?
officially christened the dorm room by sucking my spilled drink off the floor. tastes like homee
fun fact: in my eskimo family tree i am the only brunette
Moment of the day: as we leave the restaurant, she reaches into my pocket, pulls out her panties, and angrily marches to her car. I felt like a sketchy magician.
No piss test, hell yeah
FALSE ALARM. PISS TEST. I NEED YOUR PISS.
Fucking holidays. How do I have this many men who want to fuck me and none of them are available when I'm ready to blow my top?
Nothing says I love you like a silicone dragon dick
I'm starting to think that Cosmic Steve ripped me off
I was so high last night I honestly think my tears were medicinal
I just remembered something. We made out last night, people cheered.
That was my first party and they were so suprised that this little freshman girl was a FUCKING BEER PONG QUEEN.
Do you think it would be weird to wear a shirt that says 'big fun small package' from an ex for a first date?
Did you happen to find the other half of my bra last night?
Randomize
